One of the cultural shocks I experienced when I came to the United States years back was the controversy surrounding greetings during December. Some say, “Merry Christmas,” while others prefer “Happy Holidays.” Initially, this confusion made little sense to me. Why the fuss? However, it took only a short time before I realized the significance of the debate.

In Nigeria, my native country, people do not politicize over mere greetings during feast days. In a nation of over 200 million people, with roughly equal proportions of Christians and Muslims and about 4-5% of the population practicing other religions or being non-believers, everyone extends greetings to everyone else during their respective celebrations.

For instance, Ramadan is as significant to all Nigerians as Christmas is to Christians. During Ramadan, Christians and non-Christians alike send greetings to their Muslim neighbors. Muslims do likewise when Christians celebrate. The cultural sentiment is that it is awkward and disrespectful not to greet a group with their preferred celebration title.  

Greetings are Polite

No one perceives such greetings as disrespectful or discriminatory. Also, people do not consider such polite gestures as an endorsement of the religious beliefs of the celebrating groups. If one must extend greetings, refraining from using the groups’ terms of reference would be seen as an apparent slight against a tradition that a segment of the population passionately upholds.

Just as every Muslim eagerly anticipates Eid ul-Fitr, marking the end of the month of fasting (Ramadan), and Eid al-Adha, marking the end of the annual Hajj (pilgrimage), Christians also look forward to sharing in their joy. Likewise, Muslims reciprocate this sentiment during Easter and Christmas. This mutual respect also extends to the small groups who practice African Traditional Religions on days when we celebrate New Yam festivals, where we greet people with “Happy New Yam Festival,” and to a small group of Judaism practitioners, whom we greet with “Happy Hanukkah.” Practices like these are cultural awareness or sensitivity 101.

Are We Culturally Aware?

Why is it that in the U.S. the case is different, even though the U.S. prides itself on being on top in defense of human rights and cultural awareness. Some believe it’s due to an interpretation of the separation of Church and State principle, which they think should apply to anything with religious connotations. Others see a “Christmas” greeting as offensive to those of no faith.

As a result, various entities such as the media, individuals, organizations, and corporate and non-profit bodies often avoid using “Merry Christmas” when sending messages during the Christmas holiday. Worse, if those messages are meant for Christians. From my cultural perspective, this seems contrary to the idea of an inclusive society.

An inclusive society respects each culture. Discrimination of persons and their culture can be for or against. Either way, it excludes. If a group’s way of greetings is excluded because it is offensive to another group, where then is the respect for that group and their culture? Where is the cultural sensitivity? This lack of cultural consideration strikes at the heart of empathy and self-reflection regarding what is judged right or wrong.

Share in Neighbor’s Joy

Consider the awkwardness of wishing a co-worker a “Happy day” on their birthday or greeting someone celebrating their 25th marriage anniversary with just “Happy day.” Not only do such dismissive greetings disrespect their celebration, but they also lack empathy and genuine appreciation for a neighbor’s joy. They might be worse than not sending greetings at all. Its preferable not to extend any greetings at all.

Why can’t we share in one another’s joy? How on earth is another’s joy against mine? Why must it be the us-against-them philosophy? Joy isn’t limited, it’s never quantitative. It’s a quality and there is enough for everyone.

The fact that I’m not married doesn’t mean that those who are married shouldn’t be celebrated. What constitutes what should be celebrated shouldn’t be determined by what only I want, for if the I is the only preferred ethic, then there is the abolition of the we that shapes diverse cultures. Such an I philosophy is dangerous to a cohesive society. The German philosophy, Martin Buber anticipated this kind of radical Ism.

Addressing Christmas

While some may debate the origins of Christmas, questioning whether it is genuinely Christian or derived from another faith tradition, one clear fact is that it is a religious celebration. Also, it is an essential part of a people’s culture. Considering that at least half of the population in the West identifies as Christian, even if only nominally, doesn’t this warrant a simple respect of greeting them how they prefer? Isn’t it appropriate to respect their culture?

Many people today are particular about how they wish to be addressed. Why, then, do many oppose the idea of greeting Christians, Muslims, Jews, Sikhs, Buddhists, and other religious groups in the way they prefer on their global feast days?

The media, organizations, private schools, and individuals are not governmental entities. To say the least, any good government respects the cultures of its people. As Abraham Lincoln said about democracy, it is “The government of the people, by the people, for the people.” Good governance isn’t opposed to the people but one that serves the needs of the people. If organizations can’t celebrate the joys of a segment of their population, how can they be trusted to fight for their rights?

This issue fundamentally boils down to understanding what it means to live in a secular world where we respect one another. The message of Christmas is quite fitting in shaping this understanding. Christmas represents shalom, peace. It proclaims the birth of Christ, the Prince of Peace, establishing peace and a reign of peace.

Peace through Respect

Peace is possible when people respect one another. This respect is a sign of empathy because if what is precious to me isn’t appreciated for my sake, it implies a lack of respect for me, my people, and my culture. It’s a lack of cultural empathy.

Imagine a world without empathy. What would happen to our humanity? Where is the human face? The situation worsens if I’m deprived of what is rightfully mine. Saint Pope John Paul II, the Holy Father, wrote in his Pacem in Terris, about Justice as one of the four pillars of peace.

We can apply the principle of Justice to simple greetings. At least, let’s do that much. If you can’t respect me in basic greetings, which are merely phatic communications (mere polite conversation) that cost you nothing and show politeness, how can I trust that you would give me what is substantially mine when it comes to significant matters?

Herein lies the crux of the matter. Any effort to foster an inclusive culture must respect what is precious to individuals and cultures within that community. One should not rob Peter to pay Paul; doing so promotes division and shows a lack of mutual respect. Saying “Merry Christmas” addressed to the Christian population is just a greeting. It doesn’t constitute a confession of faith, nor is it about forcing religion upon everyone, any more than saying “good morning” to a passerby is simply polite. Since when has politeness or simple greetings become a creed?

I Don’t Need Your Happy Holiday

Here are two options. Either you wish me a “Merry Christmas” on December 25 or refrain from saying “Happy Holiday” to me, a Christian. I do not need your Happy Holiday. I do not care about it either. Your “Happy Holiday” is merely an insult to something precious to me and my culture.

And by the way, if you haven’t realized it, “Holiday” is a religious concept too, with its etymological root tied to the sacred, the holy, and indeed, the Sabbath. If you wish to stop anything religious, then quit using the term, holiday, as well.

Merry Christmas to all my Christian readers!