The Feast of the Holy Family on December 29 offers a beautiful opportunity to reflect on the qualities that define a holy family. I draw these qualities from the biblical and liturgical readings for the feast. They include Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14; 1 Samuel 1:20-22, 24-28; Colossians 3:12-21 or 3:12-17; 1 John 3:1-2, 21-24; and Luke 2:41-52.
The holiness of the Holy Family stems from the centrality of God’s enduring presence in their lives. With Christ, the Lord, at the heart of their home, they offer a clear model for family holiness. Since only God is holy (Revelation 15:4; 1 Peter 1:15-16), holiness belongs to Him alone. Yet, God invites everyone and every family to share in His holiness through the power of His grace. Here are ten qualities that every family striving for holiness can cultivate through divine grace. They include reverence, honor and respect, compassion and forgiveness, sacrifice, peace and gratitude, unity and shared purpose, obedience and humility, responsibility and care, commitment to growth, and love. Let’s begin with reverence.
1. Reverence for God
A holy family places God at the center of their lives. The Holy Family of Nazareth (Jesus, Mary, and Joseph) is the purest example.
The Lord Jesus is the one of whom the Father declared, “My beloved son, in whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17). Jesus spoke of the Father, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me.” (John 4:34). He confirms the same disposition in several passages such as John 5:19; 8:29 and Matthew 6:9.
Mother Mary was dedicated to God from childhood as her life was a constant reverence in honor of God. “I am the Lord’s servant; be it done to me according to your will” (Luke 1:38).
Joseph, too, revered God’s will in his life and mission. Matthew 1:19-24 describes how he lived in obedience and reverence to divine directives.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph demonstrate their reverence as a family through their annual pilgrimage to Jerusalem and Jesus’ devotion to His Father’s house (Luke 2:41-52). Their observance of the Passover feast reflects deep gratitude to God for delivering His people from slavery. A family that reveres God submits to His reign, allowing Him to shape their lives in His holy ways.
2. Honor and Respect
Members of a holy family honor and respect one another. Sirach teaches that honoring parents atones for sins, ensures answered prayers, and builds a house of justice (Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14). Honoring parents brings blessings such as forgiveness, fruitfulness, and longevity. These actions reflect the family’s commitment to God’s design for harmony and respect.
3. Compassion and Forgiveness
Compassion, patience, and forgiveness bind a family in love, the bond of perfection (Colossians 3:12-14). The Holy Family exemplifies these virtues. Saint Paul advocates “putting on kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” A family seeking holiness exercises these qualities, forgiving one another and bearing burdens with Christ-like compassion.
4. Sacrificial Love
A holy family embraces selflessness and sacrificial love. Hannah, for instance, dedicates her son Samuel to God (1 Samuel 1:20-28). Sacrificial love means putting the needs of others above one’s own for the sake of a greater good. Parents often embody this by making sacrifices for their children’s needs, education, well-being, and future. Such self-giving love mirrors God’s own sacrificial love for humanity. “He gave up his life for us” (1 John 3:16).
5. Peace and Gratitude
A holy family lets the peace of Christ rule in their hearts and fosters a spirit of gratitude (Colossians 3:15-17). Peace reflects God’s presence and holiness. Families grow stronger when they choose to resolve conflicts with understanding and gratitude rather than striving to prove who is right. Rancor and bitter arguments tear homes apart. Celebrating each other’s strengths and contributions fosters lasting harmony. Agree to disagree in homes. Always remember, things must not go our way.
6. Unity and Shared Purpose
Walking in God’s ways unites a family. Psalm 128 depicts harmony, where family members thrive together like fruitful vines and olive plants. A holy family works toward shared goals rooted in their faith and mutual love, creating a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
7. Obedience and Humility
Obedience strengthens holiness. Jesus shows this by submitting to Mary and Joseph (Luke 2:51). Scripture calls children to obey their parents in everything that pleases the Lord (Colossians 3:20). However, when demands conflict with God’s moral teachings, holiness requires prioritizing obedience to God. Both parents and children grow in humility by placing God’s will above all.
8. Responsibility and Care
A holy family takes responsibility for one another, especially the elderly and vulnerable. Sirach calls children to care for aging parents, promising that kindness to them will never be forgotten (Sirach 3:12-14). God rewards acts of compassion. He remembers them with mercy and blessings.
9. Commitment to Growth
A holy family nurtures its members’ intellectual, spiritual, and emotional growth. After spending time in the temple, Jesus returns home to grow in wisdom and favor with God and others (Luke 2:52). Growth happens when families encourage one another to embrace opportunities for learning and spiritual formation and live Christ’s abundant life (John 10:10).
10. Love as the Foundation
Above all, love unites a holy family. Love is the bond of perfection and the fulfillment of God’s commandment to love one another (Colossians 3:14; 1 John 3:23). This selfless, unconditional love enables family members to reflect God’s love, transforming their home into a place of holiness and grace.
These qualities guide families striving to mirror the holiness, love, and unity of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Aspiring to these virtues opens a family to blessings such as divine favor, peace, answered prayers, and eternal life. In the following meditation, I discuss the ten blessings of a holy family.
